I recently spoke with a woman who was very excited to work with me. During our call she declared that “Today-is-the-day”! I love working with highly motivated clients like this. It usually tells me that you tried all the other quick-fixes that didn’t work and are finally ready to do the work that needs to be done. Including all the mindset work, the physical work and the long-term lifestyle changes to enhance fertility naturally long term.
But after I explained a process that would likely work to achieve her fertility goal, I picked up that what she may have actually been looking for a “Cure”. And this is where women can often run into problems when seeking natural fertility solutions.
However, according to this article, even doctors are now avoiding using the word cure. The idea that there is a cure for anything implies the issue cannot return. In reality it’s very possible that whatever plagued you can return, especially if you don’t change anything or actively keep it at bay. Apparently now, the word ‘cure’ can also be used even if its not completely removed from your body, such as in the case of post-radiation operations.
So why would I use the word cure and why would you?
As a fertility coach, I run into some “what is a fertility coach” scenarios. Most with awe and excitement. But with these cure scenarios, many women, are sometimes stuck in the paradigm that things have to happen now for it to be effective, meaningful and lasting.
Combine that with the fact that Black women, in particular, typically don’t seek out or get “coaching” for damn near anything unless its school or business related.
…And Houston, we have a problem!
Fertility coaching is up there with getting a Therapist, and most of us know that Black people generally don’t do therapists. But fertility issues are not the same as post-traumatic slavery disorder or other traumas.
Most women can’t keep living their lives as though they aren’t suffering in the same way you can with other types of traumas and issues. Wanting a baby or getting rid of PCOS, for example, is a suffering you are willing to put yourself through greater suffering for, such as surgery. Yet, infertility will not go away with marches, protests or petitions.
And in most cases, you probably don’t want that kind of attention, anyway. Right?
You can’t ignore infertility and other fertility issues. There’s usually some deeper underlying reason for it and either it’s obvious you’re in your 30’s and haven’t had your first baby yet. Or you have pain or a protruding stomach and everyone’s asking when your due and you’re reminded by the fact you have fibroids or something else.
Yet still the idea of fertility coaching still hasn’t really caught on in to our community yet. So when I meet women to offer my services, sometimes they may expect me to have the ultimate cure.
My take on it is that the thinking goes, since I have the audacity as a Black woman to claim to help with “X” fertility issue, than I better have a cure”.
But it doesn’t work like that.
In order for me to have a cure, I would have to ensure that you wouldn’t do the things that lead to the fertility issue in the first place so that it couldn’t return. And that’s not including controlling things like your Dna, environment etc. And even then what the hell does a cure really mean anymore?
The word cure is so vague and convoluted all at the same time. Its begun to mean less and less each year, while getting people caught up on seeking outside help without ever having to go within.
We have to start looking at solutions differently. Solutions that require your active participation. Because creating the problems most like did.
What I do have is a system, a routine and subtle lifestyle changes that can help you live a more stress free, feminine and fertility-friendly lifestyle.
How To Get Lasting Fertility Solutions With Fertility Coaching
Since we know that expecting a cure from fertility coaching is not really rational, what you can expect from my fertility coaching is to create long lasting fertility habits that bring about the same result or solutions, or better, that you want to achieve.
My top 3 ways to create long lasting fertility solutions for you with fertility coaching is to shift your mindset about fertility, optimize your physical activity and to help you make beneficial longterm lifestyle changes.
Mindset work
Since fertility coaching is new for so many women, the idea that you can resolve fertility issues or what fertility even is in the first place may be new or something you need to relearn. So in most cases, we start there for a session before moving forward.
By working on your fertility mindset first, we can uncover any fertility blocks. A good example of this is exploring what your first thoughts of fertility were. If they were negative, you may have a subconscious association to becoming pregnant. Many women that want to get pregnant have negative thoughts and feelings about their periods.
However your periods are part of a biofeedback system and is a sign that you are ovulating. If you have negative thoughts and feelings about having your period, you may have subconscious blocks that are causing you to do things that prevent you from getting pregnant without noticing.
Working out these mindset blocks and doing other types of fertility mindset work ahead of time can help you get pregnant faster and improve your fertility in the long-run.
Physical work
Achieving long lasting fertility for you may require you to do some actual physical activity. But this can be fun, sexy an feminine fertility exercises that you’ll want to do and look forward to doing daily. As women, our bodies aren’t meant to be too active or inactive. When we are trying to conceive it may not be beneficial to be so active we are in constant hi-stress go mode, but we shouldn’t necessarily be sedentary either.
Doing fun, sexy fertility exercises such as yoga, sensual movement and steps to your favorite music can be all you need to increase your fertility to get pregnant sooner and to maintain fertility in the long run.
Long-term lifestyle changes
Whether you want to face it or not, your daily lifestyle habits can affect the quality of your fertility now and in the future.
You may need to change your diet, go to bed earlier, and start saying “No” to a lot of things and start trying new things if you want to improve your fertility
Improving your lifestyle habits may be the elephant in the room for you on your fertility journey. You’re not alone! Many other women struggle with making major lifestyle changes. But certain changes are vital to ensuring that your fertility is at its optimal level. You don’t have to struggle with this on your own. Getting fertility coaching and support are two ways to improve your lifestyle and fertility to see results faster and for the long haul.
So what kind of fertility coaching do you seek? What does a cure mean to you? What do you think is more effective? A one-time quick-fix or an active mindful approach?
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