We say we want to have babies but many of us have promoted an unhealthy sense of fertility, sexuality and gender identity to combat decades of sexual abuse by our oppressors.
On a much smaller scale, even in our own lives we say and do things that conflict with our true desire to become a parent.
For example, Black women learned that Black people are so fertile that if our man touches us, we get pregnant.
As a result there is a strong wall built up against even our own man that we say we want to start a family with and love for the rest or our lives. This wall can be put up for so long that by the time we realize we want a baby, other walls have been put up that really affect fertility.
Another example is that often when Black people say we want a baby and realize we have fertility issues, we can be in serious denial about how we contributed to it. Instead of changing our diet, practicing yoga, meditation or getting non-Western treatments such as womb steaming, it’s easier to just blame it on our genes or just pray and say God didn’t want you to conceive.
A lot of what we learned has been taught and is deeply rooted in our subconscious mind. As Black people, we typically have not been taught how the mind works so it’s easy to self sabatoge your desire to increase your fertility.
When we take the time to understand how indeed our mind works and how our own thoughts and behavior patterns that destroy our odds of having a baby you can make better decisions and improve your chances of giving birth to your dreams.
To increase your fertility by tapping into your subconscious mind Join me for Breaking the Spell of Infertility.
Some of the most common reasons for avoiding addressing our self sabatoging thoughts and behaviors are:
Fear Of Change- change can affect every aspect of our lives and entering into the realm of the “unknown” can be mentally paralyzing as your mind races with all the things that could possibly go wrong.
Fear Of Loss- this can include fear of missing out on things we love most.
Lack Of Information- people operate based on the knowledge we have. If we don’t know something it can be hard to take risks that we don’t know the consequences of.
Worthiness- If you don’t feel as though you deserve to be a parent your subconscious chatter will affirm that your behaviors never result in a pregnancy.
Lack Of Self Esteem- often we have built ego around the things we are good at and defenses against things and people who do things we are unfamiliar with. If we now venture to do that which we don’t know or have ridiculed in the past it can be a blow to our esteem and ego.
Stress- stress alone can be a debilitating and prevent many from ever achieving their desire to conceive
Some other ways we self sabatoge are:
Procrastination- taking too long between setting your intention and acting upon in.